Category: Humor

Lost in Translation: Funny Chinese instructions in hotels

Funny Chinese English translation fails are legendary, inspiring countless online spoofs, digital highlights, humor books and, yes, even plays. You don’t have to spend more than a few hours in China before funny Chinese instructions begin to leap out at you resulting in raised eyebrows, giggles, smiles, and even outbursts of laughter. But it is in hotels, where you start to read placards, instruction signs, and even service information guides that the level of ridiculous attempts at English take on an entirely new level.

Read More

Lost in Translation: Funny Chinese English on warning signs

The eleven signs with funny Chinese English in this post are part of our second offering in a series of stories on funny Chinese-to-English translation fails. If you missed it, be sure to check out “Lost in Translation: Fire warnings become funny Chinese signs.” Now, without further ado, funny Chinese signs with extremely humorous translation fails focused on warning the public about something or other.

Read More

Lost in Translation: Fire warnings become funny Chinese signs

Chinese English translation fails are legendary and the stuff that inspires countless online spoofs, digital highlights, published humor books and even plays. You don’t have to spend more than a few hours in China before funny Chinese signs and translations begin to leap out at you inspiring raised eyebrows, giggles and even outbursts of laughter. And while we were told by a local that there was an official Chinese government office in charge of vetting and approving English translations, it’s staff apparently needs to spend more time actually learning English rather than how to work Google translate.

Read More

British insults: Yeah, I deserved it

British insults. To be able to deliver the classy and thoughtful zinger of an insult is of course a time-honored British tradition. My moment of being on the receiving end of an artful insult happened on a misty mountaintop in the Lake District of England.

Read More

Running at Disney World turned me into an outlaw

During a trip to Orlando, Fla., in 2015, I was reminded of a previous vacation my husband and I took to Orlando’s Disney World – one where I actually tried running at Disney World. For runners, the city can be so aggravating: I call it the home of “sidewalks to nowhere.” That’s assuming there are any. Usually there are not. The moniker “sidewalks to nowhere” came up a long time ago when I would find that sidewalks just ended – wheelchair ramp and all – leaving any unlucky pedestrian in the middle of a busy street or slogging through rough grass and mud beside an endless stream of cars and trucks. Basically, this city ain’t designed for anything but automobiles.

Read More

Fighting the robot incursion — no to nanopants

I know what you’re thinking—if they can do that with pants, imagine what the future may hold—and I’m right there with you. But before you race off gleefully into the stain-resistant future, think on this: Advanced nanotechnology requires miniature (and I do mean teeny-weeny) robots to actually perform the manipulating and positioning of individual atoms, all less than 1,000 nanometers, which is so small they had to invent a long word just to describe it.

Read More

My Hike With President Bush in Sequoia National Park

When I received a phone invitation to go on a hike through the Giant Sequoias in California with President Bush during the summer of 1992, my initial reaction was, “Right, who is this, really?” I could name any number of wonderful friends who would make such an “official” offer while doubled up with mirth and glee – eager to hang any appearance of gullibility over my head for a lifetime.

Read More

Airfare add ons are reaching the absurd

Flying on too many airlines in the world these days requires a calculator to determine all the airfare add ons unless you are privileged enough to have more than an average level of frequent flier status. Airfare add ons for luggage. More add ons for carry ons and luggage. Adding it all up can drive you crazy. Thanks to one of our intrepid world travelers for providing us so much fodder to create this decidedly, but not so far off, tongue-in-cheek ticket add-on detail…

Read More

Fun and Funny Photos of the World We Travel

Fun and Funny Photos Around the World Scroll through a selection of images featuring some of our favorite fun and funny photos from our travels around the world. Click on each to enlarge and view in lighbox. Even dogs receive classy drinking establishments in France. So, is this wine, or water? We’re not sure the bikes and scooter are part of an art display, but they sure look like it here. We have NO idea what the bar meant by promoting a Heineken party with ‘nice gadgets’ …. perhaps the patrons were unusually gifted? Children are the same anywhere...

Read More

Travel Packing Advice: Never leave home without these 5 items

Planning an international voyage? Need some travel packing advice? Here are a few items I’ve found indispensable in my misadventures…er…I mean travels around the world. Travel Packing Advice Item #1: Running shoes You never know when you might stumble across a marathon and feel compelled to sign up for it. Travel Packing Advice Tip 1. This is how you should tie your running shoes to your pack to ensure that they don’t fall off while you’re racing to catch a train in Germany. Downsides: You’ll have to actually run the marathon. Travel Packing Advice Item #2: Petzl Tikka Headlamp Strobe...

Read More

A husband learns to say shea butter massage and exfoliation

I can honestly say I like a spa that offers shea butter massage and exfoliation. But it wasn’t always this way. My sojourn to the dark side began with an argument. A late summer’s day evening found me engaged in nonsensical combat with my lovely dark-haired wife, Therese. We were wielding verbal daggers with abandon, spilling emotional blood all over the floor; evidence of a marriage stressed by too much time spent growing a business and not enough time nurturing the soul.

Read More

Velour pants and oversized luggage in my airspace

I was just settled into my airplane seat and in the process of unfurling the USA Today when a voluminous leather satchel came swinging through my personal space – narrowly missing my head. I looked up as the wayward soul trying to find his seat mumbled an apology, as he hauled in his bag and tossed it onto the seat across the aisle. At his feet was a piece of oversized luggage so huge it could have doubled as a walk-in closet at my house. This was his carry-on? As I tried to reset myself and once again unfurl...

Read More

Fear and loathing climbing Moosedog Tower

Therein lies my weakness: An inability to say “no,” even in the face of a challenge far greater than my level of skill or physical attributes. Unfortunately, all of my friends seem to know this. My wife certainly knows this. Even my dog probably knows this.

Read More

The Friendly Skies Can Get A Bit Too Friendly

Sometimes, the friendly skies get a bit too friendly for me. I had just settled into my exit row seat on the aisle of a Canadair Regional Jet from Los Angeles to Sacramento when Madame X arrived. She pointed to the window seat and then, without waiting for me to disengage from my seat and move to the aisle to allow her to pass, she straddled my legs and with a twisting move that would have impressed the most advanced pole dancer, brushed her ample posterior past my face.

Read More

Harvard killed any ‘sex is exercise’ pitch dammit

Thanks a lot, Harvard! In almost less time than it takes to click into a website, the Harvard Men’s Health Watch cut the legs out from under my most persuasive pitch for having sex – “Honey, sex is exercise and good for me.” Since my wife loves me and does care about what’s good for me, that line is a proven winner.

Read More
  • 1
  • 2