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An entertaining stay-at-home travel itinerary in the age of coronavirus

by Apr 4, 2020Humor

You are stuck at home because of coronavirus stay-at-home requirements from governments and health agencies. Looking for things to do? This is your ultimate stay-at-home travel itinerary … where every day will be the same and only your imagination will limit your travel adventures.

Welcome to the ultimate stay-at-home adventure travel experience. Our team has worked very hard to assemble a memorable stay-at-home travel itinerary for you that will ensure your total enjoyment in the time of coronavirus. It is important that you follow the schedule and are on-time so as not to delay departures and other carefully tailored arrangements.

Refer to the agenda below to guide your adventure experiences throughout the day. Be prepared for possible changes of location; if we can arrange it, we will organize breakfast in the hallway one day or even dinner in the living room (BYO TV Tray, proof of handwashing required).

Breakfast at your leisure:  7 – 9 a.m.

Breakfast is self-serve. Choice of cereal with milk, or milk with cereal. One cup of coffee or tea, upon request.

Location: Kitchen

(Note: Please dress for breakfast; jammies are not allowed.)

Travel Itinerary Breakfast Grumpy Frumpy

Personal time:  9 – 10:30 a.m.

Use this time for workouts, runs or walks

Location: Living room or deck

(Note: Please do not knock over the deck furniture when doing laps.)

Morning sightseeing: 10:30 a.m. – 12 p.m.

Location: Home office or kitchen table

(Note: Breaks allowed to swing your chair in a circle while kicking your feet. If your chair does not swivel, you may stand up and sit down several times every hour.)

Michael Hodgson Spinning Chair Ultimate Stay At Home Travel Itinerary

Stay-at-home adventure hour: 12 – 1 p.m.

Location: Meet in the living room

Your choice of options:

  1. Dance party for one person in the guest room,
  2. Watching the washing machine spin in the laundry room
  3. Slip-and-slide down the hallway
  4. Staring out the window to count birds or name squirrels
  5. Exploring the hidden reaches of the bedroom closet to discover the lost world of missing socks (advanced adventurers only)

Lunch at your leisure: 1 – 1:30 p.m.

Self-serve, one slice of bread per person with your choice of one slice of individually wrapped yellow cheese food, peanut butter, or Spam (Some selections may not be available.)

Location: Kitchen

Spam is always available for lunch in the stay-at-home travel itinerary lunch plan

Afternoon sightseeing: 1:30-4:30 p.m.

Locations available: Home office, kitchen, living room, or guest room

Tours may include, but are not limited to:

  1. Home office to discover never-before-seen patterns in the paint
  2. Kitchen to create art from nose smears on the windows
  3. Guest room to search out long-lost dust bunnies
  4. Living room to comb through magazine stacks dating back decades

(Note: The bar is not open!!)

Therese Iknoian Hunts For Dust Bunnies As An Activity In The Sta

Evening happy hour: 4:30 – 6 p.m.

There will be a no host, self-serve bar.

Location: Guest bedroom, for an exotic change in scenery

(Note: Please remember all liquor is to be consumed at the designated location. Anyone attempting to sneak away with a bottle will be suspended from future happy hours and sent immediately to the laundry room for the evening’s duration.)

Michael Hodgson And Therese Iknoian Enjoy Happy Hour During The

Dinner at your leisure: 6 – 7:30 p.m.

Self-serve; choice of canned alphabet pasta or Top Ramen. Enjoy!

Location: Kitchen

Personal time: 7:30 – 10 p.m.

Time to relax with optional adventure entertainment

Location: Living room, kitchen, or bathroom

Entertainment choices include:

  1. Trying to find and change settings and notifications on Facebook
  2. Counting and organizing rolls of toilet paper
  3. Re-setting the blinking microwave clock
  4. Searching for an e-tailer with hand sanitizer in stock

Lights out!: 10 p.m.

We want to ensure everyone gets enough sleep for the next day’s activities!

Location:  Respective bedrooms

We are thrilled you have chosen to spend your stay-at-home staycation with us. We have put months of planning into discovering great ideas for what to do while at home. The itinerary, locations to be visited, meal selections, and optional excursions have been carefully curated. We are quite sure you will enjoy your coronavirus shelter-in-place stay with us. If you have any further suggestions, please use the comment box in the kitchen. Please wash your hands and use hand sanitizer prior to touching the paper. Please provide your own pen.

We look forward to offering you several more weeks … of the same itinerary. Enjoy your coronavirus staycation!

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Acknowledgements: Story by Therese Iknoian; Photos by M more...